Under the guidance of the facilitator, Person A and B meet. After setting ground rules, Person A presents one of his or her concerns – speaking to the facts without embellishing or assuming – then asks for Person B’s assistance in understanding their behavior. Person A states a preference for different behavior in the future, and offers a reciprocal change in his or her own behavior. We record their agreements, then repeat these steps with Person B. We alternate between the two individuals until all issues have been addressed.
Agreements are future-oriented, very specific, and include what each individual will do if the agreements begin to fail. The facilitator schedules follow-up with each person.